Computers, Social Media, and Aging Parents

Twitter and Facebook, online banking and ATM's, blogs and ipads -- they've all become part of many of our daily norms. Some seniors won't touch a computer beyond getting pictures of their grandchildren, some are computer savvy.

The use of technology has many implications when figuring out how to handle the financial affairs of an aging parent. The decision has to be separated into multiple layers.

When an aging parent begins to need help to take care of their financial affairs, the obvious first answer is to have one of their children start to take over. Today, even if the child doesn't live locally, a plan can be implemented due to the technology available. Bills can be sent via email, access can be set-up to bank online, consent can be given to have duplicate brokerage statement sent.

But, even the elderly that are comfortable with technology may balk at this plan. Why? Yes it is partially due to the issue of security of their personal information. But, it's more than that. It's the lack of human involvement that is equally as much the issue. This becomes more pronounced the more home bound the person has become. Sometimes I think we forget how much there is to be gained by the 'old school' way of interacting.

Molly was well into her 80's when we first began to work together. She had had a career in the garment industry in New York and continued to lead a very active life when she retired to Florida. After some medical issues, she needed some help taking care of her household finances. Nothing was terribly complicated and her son that lived out-of-state could have easily set everything up so he could handle things online. Molly was home alone more and more. After having lead a very active, social life she was now very lonely. It was better for someone to come to her home each week to not just pay the bills, but to sit and visit for awhile. I was fortunate to be that person and learned far more from her than I could have ever learned from sitting at the computer.

So, text and tweet, watch movies on your ipad, get your information from google searches, take advantage of whatever the next generation of technology brings. The technology may be very good at getting the mechanics done. But, don't forget to sit at the kitchen table and talk to your grandmother, a friend or a neighbor!

Donations to Charities

There are thousands of wonderful charities doing amazing things. This post isn't to pass any comment about charities and how deserving they are of contributions. The purpose is to highlight some issues facing the elderly and offer some solutions.

Problem #1

The frequency of repeat requests for donations from the same organization is one problem people encounter. Before you realize it, you've given donations to the same charity multiple times in the same year. Obviously you wanted to give money to this organization in the first place, but you may not have wanted to give four times in one year.

Solution

Track your contributions. Not only will it come in handy when it comes to tax time, it will keep you from making unintended multiple contributions. For those that use one of the personal finance software programs such as Quicken, it's easy. If you aren't a computer user, keep a file with the acknowledgements, receipts or just a note from yourself. Then, check that file before sending in additional money.

Problem #2

It seems that once a contribution to an organization is made, the amount of requests from different organizations increases exponentially. Mailing lists are shared and/or sold resulting in getting swamped with mail. It can become especially overwhelming to the elderly. One elderly client of mine read each one of these requests, took them all to heart, and made donations to each. Not only did it start to have an impact on his finances, he began to have to take a tote bag to his mailbox in order to get his mail back to his apartment.

Solution

Each person needs to decide where their charitable dollars will be allocated. One idea is to pick one medical, one religious and one social organization. As difficult as it may be to do, any solicitations from other organizations are ignored.

Problem #3

An organization sends you something - a calendar, an address, book, some note cards-and then a week or so later you get a bill in the mail. You didn't order it and had thought it was a gift because you made a contribution. Now, either you have to pay for it, or figure out how to mail it back.

Solution

This is a way for an organization to make additional money. They get the items in bulk so the whole thing costs them almost nothing over and above the postage. You have a choice to make. Do you want to keep the item? If you do, you have to pay for it even though you didn't order it. If you don't and still have the box or envelope, return it by writing 'Return to Sender Did Not Order' on the outside and give it back to the mailman. If you don't have the mailing paraphernalia, you'll need to pack it up yourself. The next time one of these items comes in the mail, you'll recognize it, not open it, and give it right back to the mailman.

Read Your Financial Statements

Whether they come by snail mail, online, email or some other way, all those monthly statements that come from the bank, a financial advisor, the brokerage company or the insurance company need to be read. For most of us, reading these statements isn't up there on the list of fun things to do. But, if they aren't read, there are repercussions.

Paul always handled the finances. Judy liked it this way and never gave it much thought. Although some of the early signs of Alzheimer's may have been there, Paul hid them well. The first inkling that Judy had that something may be wrong was when their CPA mentioned the high fees being charged by their financial advisor. But, at that point Judy was so overwhelmed by the diagnosis of Paul's Alzheimer's and all the problems that faced her, the mounting pile of statements was not a priority. Many months later her daughter offered to help her sort out the papers and started to really look at what was there. They were devastated to find that the advisor had shifted her into totally age inappropriate investments and was investing on margin. The margin interest alone was costing her $1000 each month.

Whether it is knowing how money is being invested, what type of return is being earned, or the deductible on an insurance policy, paying attention is key. It doesn't mean you have to become a student of personal finance. It does mean realizing if you (or an elderly parent) can no longer be the steward of these things and finding someone to help. It may be a son or daughter, it may be the family attorney, or it may be a daily money manager. It also means not being shy about asking questions if there is something on the statement you don't understand. You know that old saying that the only dumb question is the one that you don't ask.

The important thing is to not ignore the statements. They won't go away and being aware of what's happening is critical to your financial security.