Computers, Social Media, and Aging Parents

Twitter and Facebook, online banking and ATM's, blogs and ipads -- they've all become part of many of our daily norms. Some seniors won't touch a computer beyond getting pictures of their grandchildren, some are computer savvy.

The use of technology has many implications when figuring out how to handle the financial affairs of an aging parent. The decision has to be separated into multiple layers.

When an aging parent begins to need help to take care of their financial affairs, the obvious first answer is to have one of their children start to take over. Today, even if the child doesn't live locally, a plan can be implemented due to the technology available. Bills can be sent via email, access can be set-up to bank online, consent can be given to have duplicate brokerage statement sent.

But, even the elderly that are comfortable with technology may balk at this plan. Why? Yes it is partially due to the issue of security of their personal information. But, it's more than that. It's the lack of human involvement that is equally as much the issue. This becomes more pronounced the more home bound the person has become. Sometimes I think we forget how much there is to be gained by the 'old school' way of interacting.

Molly was well into her 80's when we first began to work together. She had had a career in the garment industry in New York and continued to lead a very active life when she retired to Florida. After some medical issues, she needed some help taking care of her household finances. Nothing was terribly complicated and her son that lived out-of-state could have easily set everything up so he could handle things online. Molly was home alone more and more. After having lead a very active, social life she was now very lonely. It was better for someone to come to her home each week to not just pay the bills, but to sit and visit for awhile. I was fortunate to be that person and learned far more from her than I could have ever learned from sitting at the computer.

So, text and tweet, watch movies on your ipad, get your information from google searches, take advantage of whatever the next generation of technology brings. The technology may be very good at getting the mechanics done. But, don't forget to sit at the kitchen table and talk to your grandmother, a friend or a neighbor!

How to Get the Bills Paid

There are many ways to get the bills paid today. Each has pros and cons and realistically most people use some combination of all of them. The answer to the question of which method is the best will change from person to person and from one stage of life to another.


1. For the elderly, putting the routine bills on auto-pay may be practical. If forgetfulness is becoming an issue or if writing out the check is becoming more difficult, auto-pay ensures that bills will get paid in a timely way. Implementing auto-pay requires you to provide the company with your bank’s routing number and your account number.

2. For the person that has made accumulating points, cash back rewards and frequent flier miles a passion, putting everything possible on a credit card is the way to go.

3. For the person that is pressed for time but doesn’t want to build-up credit card balances, online bill pay through a bank is the answer. Once the set-up is complete, multiple bills can be paid in a matter of minutes. Before you sit at the computer, gather statements from all the payees you want to set-up. You’ll need account numbers, mailing addresses, and phone numbers for each.

4. For those that don’t trust the computer, writing out checks is the method of choice (and don’t even bother trying to convince them otherwise). Now that banks are no longer returning cancelled checks, this method loses one record keeping advantage.

5. For those that can no longer handle the bill-paying task at all, there is a Daily Money Manager. A Daily Money Manager is a person that comes to your home on a regular basis and helps with the mail, the bills, making deposits, balancing checking accounts, and more. It is a way to provide the support needed to keep living independently. The American Association of Daily Money Managers provides a tool on their website for a geographical search to find a Daily Money Manager in your area.

Bill Paying

Someone should have signatory authority on your checking account. This is especially important if you are single, widowed, or divorced. What would happen if you were suddenly incapacitated for a period of time? Who is going to keep your financial life current? You don’t want to come home from a period in a rehab facility and find letters threatening to turn off your electricity.

If you don’t realize how important this is, here are two similar scenarios with two different endings:

Both Anne and Shirley were recently widowed. Shirley had her attorney change her Power of Attorney from her husband to her daughter and had been to the bank to add her daughter’s name to her checking account. Anne, on the other hand, was having a difficult time coping and hadn’t done anything. Unfortunately, both of them took major falls and had serious medical problems. Shirley’s daughter was able to step right in and take over her mother’s finances. Anne’s children were attentive and wanted to help but their hands were tied. While an attorney dealt with the process to correct the situation, they were trying to pay their mother’s bills out of their own accounts but that was causing them quite a hardship.

Some things to consider when deciding to whom you give signatory authority:

1. The person you decide to give signatory authority to should, obviously, be someone you trust. But, it also should be someone who will follow your directions. The idea is that they will pay your bills on time, not that they would make any significant changes to your life.

2. Does this person pay their own bills on time? Your scatter-brained best friend may have the best of intentions but may not be right for this particular task.

3. Pick someone who lives near you. Your son/daughter that lives 1500 miles away may fly in for a short period of time until the emergency is over but that won’t help if you’re laid up any length of time.

4. Pick someone who is discreet. If they are going to sort your mail and pay your bills, you don’t want it to be someone who’s going to tell the neighborhood about your American Express charges or the type of catalogs you get in the mail.

Lastly, take into account how much exposure you’re comfortable with. Think carefully about the flow of your money in a typical month. If you have large sums of money being electronically deposited to your checking account, you may want to open a separate account for household bills with a certain dollar amount automatically transferred into this account. You would then give someone signatory authority to this household account only thus limiting the amount of money they have access to each month.