The Death of a Parent

Whether you’re talking with me in person or through this blog, I will always try to share my personal as well as professional experiences with you. The reason I haven’t posted to my blog since the end of June is that my elderly mother developed some serious health issues which ultimately resulted in her passing away earlier this month. I want to share some of what I’m going through with you–maybe to help you in the future, maybe to help me in the present.

Relief wasn’t an emotion I was expecting to feel when I got back to Florida from the funeral in Boston. But, I realized that I’d had so many different scenarios, possible problems, and potential solutions continually circling in my head for so long that it was a huge relief to not have to keep thinking about all the unknowns. You can relate I’m sure: will your mom outlive her money; what to do if a hurricane (or other weather issue) is forecast; can she continue living on her own. The list is endless.

Part of me wants to hole up in my house to process all that’s happened. Part of me wants to dive into all the tasks associated with sorting out the condominium and its contents, settling the estate, and figuring out how to sell the car. For me, the way to cope is action –cleaning out the kitchen cabinets and getting the paperwork started is cathartic. Each one of us has to figure out what works best, there is no right or wrong way to cope.

And finally, in case you think that because of my job, I have all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed and the administration of the estate will go easily, well……I spent the morning today on the phone finding out how to get a duplicate title to the car. I’ve been through every file, the safe deposit box, and the glove compartment (thank goodness, it wasn’t in there) and I can’t find the title. No matter how carefully you plan, something is going to fall through the cracks and be a hassle.